Remember, the labour is just one day of your life. It is just like doing an exam in that you always feel apprehensive leading up to the day but irrespective of how things pan out on the day, the sun is still going to come up and go down, life goes on and you will be okay. The bigger picture is taking the baby home for the next 18 years.

Don’t drop the baby, drown the baby, or starve the baby. Other than that you really can’t go wrong. In other words, don’t worry if you can’t breastfeed. As long as your baby is fed one way or the other at the end of the day it really doesn’t matter.

The first six weeks are the hardest, then the second six weeks, then you are home and hosed.

All you should be doing for the first six weeks is feeding and sleeping. Don’t try to do anything else, it is too difficult.

Friends and family can only come over to visit if they bring food or do a job.

Set up visiting times at home.

Stick to the same routine and try not to disrupt your babies sleeping times. Always wrap your baby up to sleep at the same time so it becomes a trigger to let your baby know it is now sleep time.

Invest in waterproof mattress protectors for all the beds in the house if possible. The cost of a mattress protector is less than the cost of a new mattress.

Before you have the baby, bake and freeze. Your microwave is your best friend.

Get your hair cut before you give birth because you won’t have time to do it afterwards.

When buying a pram, make sure it is as light as possible, can fit down aisles and is versatile, ie has a capsule attachment.

If you can afford it, even if it is just to help with the bathroom every 2 weeks.

Get out of the house each day, even if it is only to go to the letterbox.

Think about joining a mothers group, but only if the people in the group are honest and you feel good when you leave.

If you are more weepy than not and you don’t feel like yourself anymore you need to call me.

Remember, when you are in the shower you can’t hear your baby cry. This can be a good thing, but watch your water bill!

Don’t buy a baby bath. Bathe your baby in the kitchen sink until they outgrow it, ie at 3 months, then you or your partner can shower with your baby.

If you have a boy remember that when you are putting the nappy on have the penis down and central or you will end up with a leak. Make sure both flanges on the nappy are out.

Hold the feet and don’t let go when you are changing a dirty nappy, and have nappy wipes already spread out before you take off the old nappy. Use the front bit of the nappy to wipe most of the excess poo off (wipes are expensive) and don’t let go of those feet! Poo can travel great distances.

Buy as many nappies and wipes as you can when they are on special.

Always have 2 extra changes of clothing in the baby bag.

Always leave (at least) 3 times longer to do things than what you would normally. Everything is now a military operation.

Don’t listen to anyone else. Remember, you are the mummy! Be kind to yourself and ask for help. Remember, traditionally the village looked after the baby!

It all gets very much easier with time.